i'm signing you up for texting rehab
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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