one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
