This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
