There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she smelled like a LAN party
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
