"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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