We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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