Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He passed out mid-signature
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
