Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
