She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
