I just pynch a tree in the face
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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