I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
