He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
