Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
