how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
