lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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