my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
