He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
