Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
