I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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