I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
