I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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