Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
