he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
why is half of my head shaved?
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