So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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