Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
