On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
50% drunk capacity currently
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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