I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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