im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
