dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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