dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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