so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
