can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
