I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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