PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently you make a good broom.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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