But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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