Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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