yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
