I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
