I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
