So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
