i jhust puked up my retainher.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
