i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize