Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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