Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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