So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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