This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
His hands were made for my vagina.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
