Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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