have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
