Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
