Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
