I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
