? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
