The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
