this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize