while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
