why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
