she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
