I think I died a long time ago.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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