i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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