i already hear my dad disowning me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
