I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
