Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
