my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
