White coat. Heels.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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